Wednesday, March 31, 2010

rain gently falls...

on the next day...
what is it that i think i am doing here? sitting behind a cubicle in the corner of a semi-big office room somewhere in Loyang Industrial Estate here in Singapore. I am supposed to be busy at work but surprisingly not today. My department boss took a one-week leave and we have no idea where he was heading for. Unlike in the Philippines where co-workers would know the reson (any reason for that matter) why one takes a leave of absence, especially the boss.
i really wanted to ask my boss but decided to keep my mouth shut. nobody from any of his staff dared to ask, anyway. hehehe
that explains why i am having the luxury of time writing, not working at all.
it's three ten in the afternoon. i have no other choice but to stay here in this place for another four long hours. whew!
it's raining outside, raining hard and as usual, the rain will stop the moment i reach the bus stop. (hadlok ang ulan) i know it for it happens everytime. always like this, the usual rain, the usual bus ride. i will the be facing my book for the entire 15-minute trip, will be in the lift for 10th floor for another nice, lonely, evening by myself.
the i would look out the window, and would notice it's raining again. 

Friday, March 19, 2010

quiet time

for the past three weeks that i started with my work here in singapore, i have always been actively sharing my views and feeling over Facebook (sometimes even twice in a day). now, i find myself turning to my blog, to the blog that i completely abandoned for the past two months. suddenly, i am too afraid to show what i feel or to say what i want to do at the moment, with all the rest of my firends (practically the world out there) to know.

last night, i learned that my father (i call him my papang) was confined in the hospital for he complained difficulty in urinating, later the doctor found out that his prostate enlarged. i just checked in the net and the medical term fo the diagnosis is BPH or Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia - a common part of aging. the urologist suggested for a surgery. it will be done after all the necessary examinations.
i was so sad after my phone conversation with my papang last night. the sopas (macaroni soup) i meticulously prepared and craved to eat just became tasteless. i was so sad that my papang is in the hospital without me around. yes, my mamang will always be there for him but i know he needs me too. only i can explain to him things in a manner that will make him nod after, only i can make him laugh because i laugh at his old jokes, only i can tell him to relax and listen, only i can make him calm. he listens to me, his youngest.
i so miss my papang and it pains me that i am not by his side. i love him so much.
when i told him to be strong, that the Lord loves him so much, he will get over it soon, it will be better right after the surgery, it's a common thing for aging men like him... etc. i said, "you pray papang ha." you recovered from a two-week stay in the ICU (intensive care unit) so for sure with God's help, everything will be fine."
i knew my father was crying as he was listening to me. he just passed the phone to mamang and said maybe i wanted to talk to her.
no tears for me but my heart was crying. i wanted to hug him and assure him that everything will be okey.
today, when the clock struck noon for lunch break, i called and checked the two beautiful people in my life, my wonderful parents. i treasure them everyday.
thank you, dear Lord for their lives and for my life through them.