i miss you so much, my Papang. i hope to still spend happy times with you. i thank you for my life. 
out of reality in life and imagination in dreams... a glimpse of who is ALICE in one dear land!!!! me, my family and my friends.
Monday, September 27, 2010
my papang
i miss you so much, my Papang. i hope to still spend happy times with you. i thank you for my life. 
Thursday, May 13, 2010
if only
This morning. I was sad. I felt so stupid. I found myself standing in a middle of four gentlemen (Mechanical Engineers). I was pretty sure they were speaking English but it seemed Chinese and five other lanaguages combined to my ears. I wanted to scream. Every word uttered from their mouths don't mean a thing. For me, it has always been word equals image. You give me a word and my mind will create an image.However, at that very moment, my imgainations went blank. It was like a mental pause.
Let me explain. GEAR MOTOR- that one I understand and definitely konw what for but to understand how it works? Wow! it blew my mind!
So I decided to escape. While they were all talking... my mind went back to my childhood years. I was introduced to biking at an early age of two. Our neighbor in my beloved San Juan Village, Bangkal, Davao City, owned a bike shop. I have vivid memories of fun biking with cousins and friends while I was growing up. We had to sacrifice and save our "piso" to own a bike for an hour. In most cases though, Nong Ike (the shop owner) would sense that our piso first went to ice pop vendor in one corner, so he would just smile and wink at us. That signals a permision that we can borrow his bike for as long as we don't go far from the shop. (reason: if in case one would want to rent the bike we just borrowed, then we will have no choice but to wholeheartedly surrender it)
Every Christmas season, my brother, my cousins and other boy neighbors would set up a "kanyon" out of bamboo from "daplin sa sapa". then they would prepare gasoline and light a hole on the mid-top part. BANG! That was a very clever way to save from buying expensive firecrackers.
Then, my memory forwarded fast to my brief experience as the part-time receptionist of our junk/surplus shop in Jacinto before. I was about eighteen years old when I first faced engines and motors, under chassis and other vehicle parts imported from Japan. All those junks didn't mean a thing until I knew how much each cost.
Unfortunately, I was not able to learn how each amazingly works in a vehicle.
Just as how unfortunate it was that my early exposure to bicycles and "kanyon" from childhood didn't snatch my interest in a world of "machines". If only somebody from childhood made me interested. I could have been a Mechanical Engineer now. I could have been like my Uncle Paul (Coca Cola), my Kuya Winston (Holcim) and these four gentlemen I enivetably work with five days a week.
Too late but I am silently screaming..."I WANT TO BE A MECHANICAL ENGINEER!". GRRRRRRRRRR
Well, had I been an engineering stude in Ateneo, I would not have met the same old wonderful individuals (my former classmates), experienced the same fun and learnings I had, that made me the me that I am today.
I guess, it's pretty obvious that it's too late now.
On a second thought... maybe too late for me but still too early for my 2-year old boy. Yehey! At age two, he's now riding a motorbike with his papa kim driving (of course). We'll see. I still have 13 years to wait, to actually find out his interests.
at 11:55AM today, still morning, after having all this in my mind... I am no longer sad but excited and happy looking forward to that 13 years after. And who knows what more exciting experiences Kongkong will have... to make him be interested. hehe!
Let me explain. GEAR MOTOR- that one I understand and definitely konw what for but to understand how it works? Wow! it blew my mind!
So I decided to escape. While they were all talking... my mind went back to my childhood years. I was introduced to biking at an early age of two. Our neighbor in my beloved San Juan Village, Bangkal, Davao City, owned a bike shop. I have vivid memories of fun biking with cousins and friends while I was growing up. We had to sacrifice and save our "piso" to own a bike for an hour. In most cases though, Nong Ike (the shop owner) would sense that our piso first went to ice pop vendor in one corner, so he would just smile and wink at us. That signals a permision that we can borrow his bike for as long as we don't go far from the shop. (reason: if in case one would want to rent the bike we just borrowed, then we will have no choice but to wholeheartedly surrender it)
Every Christmas season, my brother, my cousins and other boy neighbors would set up a "kanyon" out of bamboo from "daplin sa sapa". then they would prepare gasoline and light a hole on the mid-top part. BANG! That was a very clever way to save from buying expensive firecrackers.
Then, my memory forwarded fast to my brief experience as the part-time receptionist of our junk/surplus shop in Jacinto before. I was about eighteen years old when I first faced engines and motors, under chassis and other vehicle parts imported from Japan. All those junks didn't mean a thing until I knew how much each cost.
Unfortunately, I was not able to learn how each amazingly works in a vehicle.
Just as how unfortunate it was that my early exposure to bicycles and "kanyon" from childhood didn't snatch my interest in a world of "machines". If only somebody from childhood made me interested. I could have been a Mechanical Engineer now. I could have been like my Uncle Paul (Coca Cola), my Kuya Winston (Holcim) and these four gentlemen I enivetably work with five days a week.
Too late but I am silently screaming..."I WANT TO BE A MECHANICAL ENGINEER!". GRRRRRRRRRR
Well, had I been an engineering stude in Ateneo, I would not have met the same old wonderful individuals (my former classmates), experienced the same fun and learnings I had, that made me the me that I am today.
I guess, it's pretty obvious that it's too late now.
On a second thought... maybe too late for me but still too early for my 2-year old boy. Yehey! At age two, he's now riding a motorbike with his papa kim driving (of course). We'll see. I still have 13 years to wait, to actually find out his interests.
at 11:55AM today, still morning, after having all this in my mind... I am no longer sad but excited and happy looking forward to that 13 years after. And who knows what more exciting experiences Kongkong will have... to make him be interested. hehe!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
rain gently falls...
on the next day...
what is it that i think i am doing here? sitting behind a cubicle in the corner of a semi-big office room somewhere in Loyang Industrial Estate here in Singapore. I am supposed to be busy at work but surprisingly not today. My department boss took a one-week leave and we have no idea where he was heading for. Unlike in the Philippines where co-workers would know the reson (any reason for that matter) why one takes a leave of absence, especially the boss.
i really wanted to ask my boss but decided to keep my mouth shut. nobody from any of his staff dared to ask, anyway. hehehe
that explains why i am having the luxury of time writing, not working at all.
it's three ten in the afternoon. i have no other choice but to stay here in this place for another four long hours. whew!
it's raining outside, raining hard and as usual, the rain will stop the moment i reach the bus stop. (hadlok ang ulan) i know it for it happens everytime. always like this, the usual rain, the usual bus ride. i will the be facing my book for the entire 15-minute trip, will be in the lift for 10th floor for another nice, lonely, evening by myself.
the i would look out the window, and would notice it's raining again.
what is it that i think i am doing here? sitting behind a cubicle in the corner of a semi-big office room somewhere in Loyang Industrial Estate here in Singapore. I am supposed to be busy at work but surprisingly not today. My department boss took a one-week leave and we have no idea where he was heading for. Unlike in the Philippines where co-workers would know the reson (any reason for that matter) why one takes a leave of absence, especially the boss.
i really wanted to ask my boss but decided to keep my mouth shut. nobody from any of his staff dared to ask, anyway. hehehe
that explains why i am having the luxury of time writing, not working at all.
it's three ten in the afternoon. i have no other choice but to stay here in this place for another four long hours. whew!
it's raining outside, raining hard and as usual, the rain will stop the moment i reach the bus stop. (hadlok ang ulan) i know it for it happens everytime. always like this, the usual rain, the usual bus ride. i will the be facing my book for the entire 15-minute trip, will be in the lift for 10th floor for another nice, lonely, evening by myself.
the i would look out the window, and would notice it's raining again.
Friday, March 19, 2010
quiet time
last night, i learned that my father (i call him my papang) was confined in the hospital for he complained difficulty in urinating, later the doctor found out that his prostate enlarged. i just checked in the net and the medical term fo the diagnosis is BPH or Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia - a common part of aging. the urologist suggested for a surgery. it will be done after all the necessary examinations.
i was so sad after my phone conversation with my papang last night. the sopas (macaroni soup) i meticulously prepared and craved to eat just became tasteless. i was so sad that my papang is in the hospital without me around. yes, my mamang will always be there for him but i know he needs me too. only i can explain to him things in a manner that will make him nod after, only i can make him laugh because i laugh at his old jokes, only i can tell him to relax and listen, only i can make him calm. he listens to me, his youngest.
i so miss my papang and it pains me that i am not by his side. i love him so much.
when i told him to be strong, that the Lord loves him so much, he will get over it soon, it will be better right after the surgery, it's a common thing for aging men like him... etc. i said, "you pray papang ha." you recovered from a two-week stay in the ICU (intensive care unit) so for sure with God's help, everything will be fine."
i knew my father was crying as he was listening to me. he just passed the phone to mamang and said maybe i wanted to talk to her.
no tears for me but my heart was crying. i wanted to hug him and assure him that everything will be okey.
today, when the clock struck noon for lunch break, i called and checked the two beautiful people in my life, my wonderful parents. i treasure them everyday.
thank you, dear Lord for their lives and for my life through them.
Monday, January 25, 2010
morning sickness
hi, blog! i had a super terrible morning today. i woke up early and transferred the plants i got from my mamang to plastic pots i purchased at NCCC mall the previous night. aizek von approached the back door where i was at and greeted her mama with a smile. he was always asking if i was finished yet for he wanted to take a bath with me. kim was preparing breakfast while aizek and i were in the bathroom.
when i finally was done eating and all set for work... kim reminded me of the water connection application and requirements, i was in a rush so i was half listening... then the argument started. nonsense. not worth it. tiring. immature. stupid.
hahay... sometimes petty things lead to huge issues in life.
situations like this make me wanna escape from life. one of those "earth swallow me now" moments.
what a morning!
when i finally was done eating and all set for work... kim reminded me of the water connection application and requirements, i was in a rush so i was half listening... then the argument started. nonsense. not worth it. tiring. immature. stupid.
hahay... sometimes petty things lead to huge issues in life.
situations like this make me wanna escape from life. one of those "earth swallow me now" moments.
what a morning!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
i write what i think
i am not sure what i will be writing about today. what i am sure of is that i have to create a new post here for it has been ages since i did. wait... i have to check for a background music to listen to while writing.... PAUSE... there plays my song by Ronan Keating from my Limewire library.
i am in the state of checking, checking my life... i see me doing the groceries, playing with my 2-year old boy, watching DVD with my husband, getting ready for another busy day at work, drinking a cup of coffee with my oldies (papang and mamang)... Well, maybe that's about me on the surface. So, what am i really thinking?
Often in a day, i caught myself thinking about people who are desperately using other people just to reach their goals in life, those who have in their minds motives in stepping on others' shoes because they want to be faster and want to look brighter than others. should i be thankful that i am not selfish like all of them?
i am in the state of checking, checking my life... i see me doing the groceries, playing with my 2-year old boy, watching DVD with my husband, getting ready for another busy day at work, drinking a cup of coffee with my oldies (papang and mamang)... Well, maybe that's about me on the surface. So, what am i really thinking?
Often in a day, i caught myself thinking about people who are desperately using other people just to reach their goals in life, those who have in their minds motives in stepping on others' shoes because they want to be faster and want to look brighter than others. should i be thankful that i am not selfish like all of them?
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